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What If I Stopped Asking What If?

“What if…?” is one of the most damaging phrases known to parenthood.

For me, it started the moment they were born.

“What if it’s somehow my fault that 3 out of 4 of my children were premature?”

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Alice - 4 pounds 3 ounces - NICU

“What if Natty doesn’t wake up from anesthesia?”

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Natty's surgery for hypospadia - 3 months

“What if she never speaks, never reads, never writes?”

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Alice has language processing issues.

“What if she dies in her sleep because I don’t hold her close enough?”

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Autumn could not regulate her body temperature until she was a few months old due to prematurity. At 9 years old, she still turns blue if she stays cold for too long.

The list goes on and on. Each mother has her own individual worries and concerns based on the needs of her children.

In a world where everyone tends to naturally base their security on what they can see and what they can touch and even what they’re told by doctors, it’s very easy to get caught up in an endless cycle of “what if?”

Today was Mother’s Day. I became very overwhelmed when I looked back objectively over the years… when I thought of all the times the Lord has placed a very evident hand on my children or on me or on a situation and turned what the enemy meant for evil into a testimony of His glory.

I could go on and on endlessly and keep you here for weeks reading non stop if I wrote down every time the Lord showed up for me as a mother. As a woman. As His beloved child.

I know that I can trade all of the what if’s in the world for the certainty of His faithfulness.

So here. Take them, Lord. All of my worries. All of my present concerns. I lay them at Your feet. I look to you. And I trust You with my children. With me. With my life. From this day forward. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Took this photo in Valley Forge, PA at Washington Memorial Chapel

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Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!” -Lam 3:23-24

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